Remembering Fisch

Fisch, you were a good cat.  When you were young you would play fetch, just like a dog.  You were the neighbourhood bully.  You were a very good mouser, and loved to play with grasshoppers.  You would chase the reflections of headlights on the wall.  You would ambush the mailman, and chase your tail. Once you dissappeared for 2 days and came home smelling like rancid butter.  You carried your kittens around upside down. You liked to listen to U2. You liked best of all to sleep with the girls, on their pillows.  You would play with my knitting needles, and sit on the fabric I was trying to cut out.  You would curl up on my pregnant belly, and jump when the baby kicked you.  You loved to cuddle up with the kids for bedtime stories. You loved KD as much as Mina does. We miss you Fisch. 

Fisch Nixon  1996 - 2012

There is Beauty All Around

Sometimes, I get really sad that I live in a big stinky ugly city.  I do not miss "small town" living, but I do miss living in the beautiful nature of Northern Alberta.  I also miss the beauty of living in a city with the Rocky Mountains close by.   So, I am trying to find beauty around me to make me feel better.  Well, today it was easy. I needed to remember to look up.   As I took this picture, the sun was starting to melt the hoar frost, and it was falling around me.  Just like that scene at the end of Edward Scissorhands.  And I could breathe.

Christmas Shopping

Another mall anxiety post, I know, it is clear I have a problem.  

When I was a teenager, living in a small and retail-y isolated  town, the highlight of the month was when the family piled into the big red van, drove 2.5 hours to the City and went shopping at WEM. (and Costco) (although I think my dad loved and still loves shopping more than all of us siblings put together!)   We often would go to the waterpark, and wander about the mall, see a dollar movie, spend my KFC paycheque on clothes.  Very fun times! 

Fast forward to 2012. 

My how things have changed.  I rarely if ever go the the monstropolis that is WEM.  Hard to find parking, so crowded, no money to spend on random things, one daughter who loves shopping as much as my dad and her Auntie Nunu do, and another who is a total spaz and often not fit for public outings.  Not to mention a baby whom I have only just started taking to the grocery store with me, let alone the the biggest mall in Canada.  Well today I had to go there, to pick up a very specific requested item.  Luckily the 2 big girls were in school, so I did not have to stress about that.  Here is what I did stress about: (oooh, an opportunity for a bullet list, my favourite!)

• Which baby carrier to use - must be hands free, easy/fast to put on, and be able to nurse in if necessary.  (the Boba fit the bill here)
• Which diaper bag - small.  How to pack the necessities, without overpacking.  Not as easy as you might think, as I use cloth diapers.  
• Where are all of the restrooms, in case my chronies strike and I need to go NOW...
• Working  it into the baby's eat/sleep schedule, which is not really set yet...
• The general anxiety of going to this mall in the first place, which normally gives me heart palpitations....

Well, things went great.   I found what I needed quickly, then I even found a mothers room to change Leia in. Bonus!  It was clean and private, and had a comfy chair to nurse in.  Not that I mind nursing in public, but it is so much nicer in a cushy chair and a quiet place, and it had a door, so that moms with toddlers as well would not have to worry about them running off while taking care of the baby... I did not go so far as to wander the mall window shopping, or eat at the foodcourt, but this small success today made me think that maybe I can do this mall thing afterall.  

Then Birds and the Bees, Sunday Edition

Today, on the drive to church, while negotiating slippery ice and snow covered roads...

Mina: mom, that stuff in a penis, that makes babies, what is it again?

Me: uh, you mean sperm?

Mina:  Yep. Sperm.  So how exactly does it get to the mom's eggs?

Me:  Nearly driving into the median..... then explaining the specifics...

a minute passes...  while I anticipate the next big questions....

Mina:  China rhymes with vagina!  china vagina china vagina....

Me:  (praying to myself)  please Lord let this conversation be over before we go into the chapel...

Just another Sunday morning in the mini van.  I have a feeling that many important conversations are going to happen while driving in this minivan.  

The week in review

 Abby had a piece of artwork choosen to display at the Centre for Education this year!  Art teachers all around the city submitted about 1500 works of art.  150 were choosen and Abby was among them!  We are so proud of her!  Abby''s is the art on top in the frame behind her.

 

reason #174 why the girls like Daddy best: he adds a scoop of ice cream to the smoothies.

 This baby has been all smiles! I really need to do side-by-side pics if all my girls, it's as though I keep having the same baby over and over again! Mom says we must have found a recipe that works, and I think she is right.

 The Tooth Fairy has visited our house twice in one week! So very exciting!

Yarr!

Yarr!  A band of scurvy Pirates has kidnapped the young Princess!

Luckily, we had plenty of Pirate Booty to pay her ransom.

And the wee princess is safe, and can grow up to save the Empire

(even though she does not look too happy about it.)
Happy Halloween!

My parenting style. A bit crunchy granola....

A Poem, and a few things about how I like to mother my children..

 

 

 

 

Mother, O' Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth.

Hang out the washing, make up the bed,

Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,

Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,

Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek - peekaboo.

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew,

And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo.

But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?

Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,

But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

~ Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

 

I found this poem today on a natural parenting site.  I've heard the last stanza before but never the entire thing, so I thought I'd share.  (I think I might nick name Leia "Roo"!) Then, I surfed the site a bit too far, and found myself watching a circumcision video and nearly vomited.   The video was about 6 minutes long but I could only stomach the first minute.  I have never ever heard a newborn scream like that.  I had to change my shirt for all the milk that started to leak in sympathy or something.  I am still nauseous.  If you have a baby boy, you should watch the procedure, with non edited volume, before deciding what to do. And make sure it is a north american video, as in some countries, like australia, they will sometimes anaesthesize (which takes away the screaming, but not the horror.) where as here, anasethesia is not reccomended for little babies.  (and neither is circumcision).  Controversial posting, I know, but, there you have it. 

Mina was taking about babies, eggs, birds and so on, and we got to saying , wouldn't it be weird if humans laid eggs like birds to, and had to sit on the egg for 9 months before the baby could hatch.  I said how awful that would be to have to sit on it for 9 months.  Keith said that humans would have invented an incubator so that we wouldn't have to.  But then we laughed, because we both know that I would have insisted on sitting on that egg for the whole 9 months! No fake incubator in this house! 

Someone was looking for me at church the other day, but did not know who I was.  So his wife told him to look for the woman with a baby tied to her chest.  :)  Yep, that's me!  One Sunday I gave in and let someone in another meeting hold her, and the entire 40 minutes she was gone I felt so uneasy.  Eventually she started to fuss, and was returned to me BY A COMPLETE STRANGER WHO I HAVE NEVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! I am still horrified by this.  I think that will be the last time I let my infant out of my sight.  

 

Also , look - you can make boobs with your keyboard!  (.Y.)  how cool is that? Clearly I am spending way too much time on the internet.  

Now if only I could force myself to jump onto the whole wheat/no sugar/kale smoothie drinking bandwagon...  I just can't enjoy those things! Even though I know I should...

love

dear keith,
i love you in the morning,
and in the afternon.
i love you in the evening,
underneath the moon.
happy 13th anniversary
~~s


you may notice that there are no uppercase letters in my e mails, blog posts, facebook comments etc.  this is because i am usually holding this sweet bundle of baby.  please excuse. i think i love holding her even more than she loves to be held.  therre are many things i need to do,

• buy printer paper
• get rosin for a's cello
• garbage bags
• make the bed
• get dinner ready
• move the laundry
• clean up the yard before it snows
• return library books
• and so on...

but, i would rather just snuggle this girl.  

Happy Midwifery week!

It is the International Week of  the Midwife!  I could not let this week go by without a shout out!  My midwife for my last 2 babies is Noreen Walker.  She is so fantastic, and the care I have received from her has been incredible.  My little one is 8 weeks old (already!) and I miss Noreen every day.  It is kind of like breaking up with your highschool boyfriend - I have these weird thoughts about maybe going grocery shopping in the town that she lives just so that I might bump into her.. So weird, I know...

I have had 3 very different births.  The first was in a hospital, and I was very naieve. I thought it would be just like you see on TV.  Get the epidural, count to 10 and push out the baby, easy peasy.   It was a disaster.  I often feel so sad for Abby that she was born so traumatically.  My second was a water birth with Noreen at a birth center.  It was incredible.  The latest was a home birth that was so fast and easy that Noreen could not make it here on time.  Also incredible.  I thought that my second experience could not be improved uopn, but being at home made things even better.  My 2 midwife babies were born so peacefully.   Having a skilled, caring and generally awesome all around midwife, is essential!   Thank you Noreen.

 Here are some books I have loved reading:

• Get Me Out: a History of Childbirth from the Garden of Eden to the Sperm Bank by Randi Hutter Epstein - very interesting and written with a great sense of humour
• Birth Matters and Spiritual Midwifery by Ina Mae Gaskins  - well, everything by Ina Mae (I feel I can call her that because my midwife drank wine in a hot tub with Ina Mae once.)  Be prepared for a lot of hippy dippy birth stories, which are funny to read, and very beautiful and inspiring.
• The Business of Being Born (DVD) : This really opens your eyes about the medicalization of childbirth.  It is so sad that most North American women today will never know what normal childbirth is.  

Birth is powerful.  Birth is beautiful.  Birth is normal and healthy.  

Happy Midwifery week Noreen.

When You're Smiling

My family is in need of some smiles...Here are 3 surefire ways. 

1) if you are 7 weeks old, just find the nearest light fixture and break out in a grin.   Smiles are hard to capture at this age, as they move fast, and babies hate the flash.  But here are a couple of attempts.

2) Another thing that makes me smile are Mina and Abby's babysitting methods.  I'm sure blogger will put these pics in the wrong order, so just bear with me.  Or is it bare? When I shower in the AM, Mina is often in charge of babsitting Leia.  Which usually involves covering her in stuffies or reading her a story.  The other day, she choose a 3-D book and was very helpful by putting the 3-D glasses on the baby. Abby's special big-sister talent is to rock Leia to sleep.  I don't have a pic yet, but often I will be preparing dinner or doing something that requires both hands, and I will give Leia to Abby while doing this.  Most times, when I am ready to take Leia again, she is fast asleep in Abby's loving, but sore, arms.

3) An apple a day :  we have a great apple tree in the yard, and this time of year, Mina can often be found right underneath of it, doing yoga and eating an apple.  Sometimes there are none to be found on the ground, so she climbs up into the tree and shakes the branches until one falls down.  And it is so easy for me to tell them to just go and get an apple from the tree when they want snacks!

So there you have it folks.  3 ways to get happy, from the Nixons!

Sisters

Sisters are special.  I think my girls know this.
I'm too tired to do a real blog post, so this will have to do.

School's In!

Well, here are my 1st and 4th graders!  (how american sounding of me).  The year is off to a great start, we are 4 days in, and have only missed the bus twice.  Being on an infant's schedule is apparantly hard for me to get used to.  yesterday I went to get the girls from the bus stop, and waited for 20 minutes.  No bus. So I went back home to call the bus company, only to find the girls hanging out in the drive way with my nieghbour's sister in law.  Mina was naked from the waist down, with her sweater haphazardly tied around her waist.  Turns out the bus got to the stop early, and the girls started for home right when I left.  We took different routes, and missed eachother.  While they were waiting for me. Mina had to pee, so decied to do it beside the apple tree, and in the process peed on her skirt and underwear.  So they knocked on the neighbours door, and he was not home, but his sister in law whom we have never met was there...  So she hung out with them for a few minutes until I arrived home.  I can only imagine what she thinks of my parenting skills.  Lacking, I'm sure. 
Abby and Mina are loving the new school year, I am re-learning how to type one handed, and plan to call a chiropracter because my back is killing me, from wearing my 9 pound baby all the live long day.  (but really, I love snuggling this kittle squeaker as much as I can). 

Bonus #'s 37 - 40 about NOT being pregnant

Of course, there are many upsides to not being pregnant anymore.  The obvious one, for example, having a sweet piece of heaven in my arms.  But also, and not to be under-rated:

• Being able to reach the second shelf in my kitchen cupboards (the third shelf has always and will always be beyond my reach.  That is where the birthday candles and Christmas stuff goes.)
• Wearing my wedding ring again!  No more random swelling throughout the day!  I can now wear my ring all day, and even at night.  No more will I appear to the the unmarried pregnant mother.  No judging here, but I love being married and I love being able to show it with my ring.  It has been a sad ringless year and half! How ironic, first I was too skinny for it, then too fat.
• The rack.  As Keith mentioned the other day.  Very impressive.  And it puts the post-partum body more in proportion so I don't seem as fat.  

In other news, summer is nearly over.  That means no more weekday sleep overs in the spare bedroom for my big girls.  They always become the best of friends over the summer, it is almost a shame to send them back to school and their own seperate social lives.  For some reason, blogger put the sleep over picture at the top of this post.  Try to imagine it right here for impact. 

Falling in Love

How is it possible that my heart can belong to so many people?

Leia's Birth: A Very Short Story

As you all know, Leia joined our family today!  I love a good birth story, so I wanted to share ours.  At around 11 PM on Sunday night, I began having some pretty intense contractions.  So I started timing them, mostly to distract myself, and also to make sure that calling Noreen, our midwife, was warranted.  So, after about 15 minutes I called her, and she set off.  I continued having these contractions, but then changed over to the ones where I started to make the primal-groaning-my body feels like it is tearing in half sounds.  I recognized these sounds, and called Keith over to fill up the tub.  A water birth was in the plans, and so Keith dutifully started filling it up.  He came back to ask me how hot to make the water, then I asked him to get an ETA from Noreen.  20 minutes he said. I knew she would not make it in time, as the sounds I was making really reminded me of a baby crowning.  So I get into the shower - I knew water in any form would make me feel better - and then "Keith - come - the head is out!"  So I opened the shower door and crawled out on hands and knees.  Keith brought some towels and checked that yes, her head was out, and there was no cord around her neck.  So with the next groan, out she came, after about 1 hour of labour!  Keith said it was a lot like playing twister, as I was on my hands and knees, in a tiny bathroom, with my backside facing the tiniest shower stall known to man, and he had to pass Leia back under me so that I could hold her while waiting for the placenta.  The cord was pretty short, so I just stayed put.  Mina and Abby came down to meet their new sister.  Mina decided to go right back to bed, and Abby hung out with us. Amazing that they slept right through everything!  After a few minutes, Noreen and Ava arrived, like angels in the night, and helped us to cut the cord and deliver the placenta.  Then they checked us over, cleaned everything up, filled out paperwork and gave me a stitch.  Ta Da!

So those are the specifics of what happened.  I am not gifted with words enough to describe how incredible Leia's birth is, not just for me, but for our whole family.  Keith, who caught his baby daughter, while staying very calm and together.  Myself, who gave birth, and all of the incredible feelings that brings.  Abby and Mina, who know that having a baby is normal, healthy and incredible.  Planning to and having her be born at home was the right decision for our family in so many ways.  At the beginning of my pregnancy, Noreen suggested that I pick some words to focus on throughout the pregnancy and birth.  My meditation words were; "trust"- so that I could trust my body, (not easy for me after being so sick and having surgery a month before getting pregnant), and my ability to give birth, and also in the knowledge and skills of my midwife and caregivers; "calm" - to remind myself to not panic, even though giving birth is very intense and can be difficult, everything was normal and not a reason feel any worry, panic or fear. I also wanted my family to feel calm.  My third word was "awesome" - not as in "cool", but a line from my favourite hymn says; "when I in awesome wonder..."  because to me birth is so incredible, it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around the miracle of it all.  It really is in awesome wonder that a baby is born. I wanted to remember that this is a gift and a privledge. And indeed it is.


Leia Mary Ann Nixon
August 13, 2012
12:01 AM
7 lbs 12 oz
20 inches long

Some Things We Have Learned This Week

• Camping at 8+ months pregnant is not a lot of fun, even if you are in a cabin. 
• Visiting with long lost sisters and their chillins all together makes it totally worth it!
• My mom is very awesome and I am so proud of her.  Actually, I have known that for a long time, but it bears noting here!
• My children can swallow half of  a piece of spaghetti, and then pull it back out.  Endless hours of amusement. gag. ( I thought girl children would be more demure, somehow.)
• It is possible that I may have been a bit obsessed with cloth diapers and finding great deals on them.  I may or may not have enough cotton to diaper triplets.  I have a plan though!  Once I figure out what works, I will sell the others on Kijiji to finance my next ridiculous obsession. Ideas anyone?
• Having a midwife is the bomb.  I knew this before too.  At my last group appointment (which I love because it is a bit like therapy) she made friendship bread for all of us and gave out "starter" bags to those who wanted them.  Tell me, does your OBGYN do that?  Probably not.  So in about 7 days, would you like some starter?  
• If anyone is planning a future pregnancy, and are one of those people for whom these things work out when you want them to, don't plan to have an August baby.  Pure torture I tell you.  In fact, just to be safe, don't have any sex at all during the month of November.  Even if you are on bed rest.  ha ha.
• Abby has learned how to sleep in.  Ah, the art of a lazy morning.  Today she came out of her room at the crack of 9!  Going back to school should be fun for her (I mean me)  in the morning.
• We are loving the summer programs at the library this year.  Free!  Air Conditioned!  Books!  Prizes!  Supervised activities for the kids so that I can read trashy magazines for an hour with my feet up!  pure bliss I tell you.  Even if I am the one who inevitabally ends up carting about 30 books back to the van.  Worth it. 
• My children have watched childbirth DVDs so they know what to expect.  I was expecting to have to answer more questions, but Mina was most impressed by the umbilical cord, and Abby laughed at the Dad's hairstyle.  It is so interesting to me how with kids, some things you think are going to be a big deal really are not.  I'm happy that this is going to be part of their growing up experience, and not a big taboo mystery.

Misc.

 First off, we are having a heat wave.  There are rolling blackouts in Alberta.  Being in my third trimester, and also being a person who hates the heat normally, I am not a happy camper.  I can't even begin to describe how awful/sticky/irritable/angry etc.  I am feeling right now.  So, if you encounter me, and I am really mean, please just walk away. Or give me a bag of frozen peas to wear on my head.

Also, a note to my body.  Really body?  Could you maybe re-use the old stretch marks from pregnancy #1 and #2 instead of creating new ones?  Would that be so hard?  And also, please please pretty please do not go into labour during our camping trip.  I am really worried about this.  That's all.

9 to 5

Here are my girls, Abby is 9!  Nine already!  And Mina is 5.  Such a clever title.  It's been a while since some of you saw these ladies, so I thought I'd post a snap.  We sure do make beautiful girls around here. 

Nesting, and some new Diarma's

 A few shots of Mina's recent games.  Above, we have the princesses, dancing together.  Sweet.

 Here, the horses are ried in the stable.

 And here is Ken, and his Barbies.  They are napping.  Ken is "cuddling" his friend.  They take turns.  I am not sure why the bride barbie is all alone and off to the side of the happy cuddling group.  ???

 Also, I have been "nesting".  I make this blanket. 

 ALso these wool soakers.  The top ones are from re-purposed sweaters, the others and knit. There are a few others too that I made.  Did you know you can use a wool soaker to go over cloth diapers instead of plastic pants?  Especially good at night, as they let air flow in. 

 I made a few "wet bags" out of PUL- for putting cloth diapers in when they are wet and you are out and about.

 Here are some wool "longies", also knit my yours truly!  And my shadow, which is rather large and hard to exclude from a frame. 

Keith has been nesting too.  Here is our new and much bigger hot water heater.  So that my birth tub can be filled easily with stramy hot water, if I want it.  He sure does love me.  I am a lucky Mama!

A Vegetarian is Born

At least temporarily..

A Dinner Conversation with Mina

Mina: Mom, is this beef from a cow?
Serinda: Yes it is.
M: Is it come out of a cow like milk?
S: No.
M: Is it from the inside of a cow?
S: Yes it is.
M: So, the cow is killed?
S: Yes,  sigh.  (chew chew chew)
M:  Mom, I don't want to eat this anymore.  I am sad. 

S: How about you eat your beans instead?
M: Okay.   sniff sniff.

Oh the harsh realities of life.  I remember Abby used to call all poultry birds at the petting zoo "Ham" and never had a problem eating them.  But Mina is very sensitive to the animals. 

Also, we sort of have a dog.  Our wonderful neighbour got a puppy at Christmas and happily "shares" him with us.  Gizmo comes to our back door to play with the girls, tries to follow us to the bus stop, and Leroy lets our girls take Gizmo for walks around the neighbourhood.  It is so great! Now the pressure is off, and as long as Leroy lives next door, we have our part time dog!  Awesome.