Falling in Love

How is it possible that my heart can belong to so many people?

Leia's Birth: A Very Short Story

As you all know, Leia joined our family today!  I love a good birth story, so I wanted to share ours.  At around 11 PM on Sunday night, I began having some pretty intense contractions.  So I started timing them, mostly to distract myself, and also to make sure that calling Noreen, our midwife, was warranted.  So, after about 15 minutes I called her, and she set off.  I continued having these contractions, but then changed over to the ones where I started to make the primal-groaning-my body feels like it is tearing in half sounds.  I recognized these sounds, and called Keith over to fill up the tub.  A water birth was in the plans, and so Keith dutifully started filling it up.  He came back to ask me how hot to make the water, then I asked him to get an ETA from Noreen.  20 minutes he said. I knew she would not make it in time, as the sounds I was making really reminded me of a baby crowning.  So I get into the shower - I knew water in any form would make me feel better - and then "Keith - come - the head is out!"  So I opened the shower door and crawled out on hands and knees.  Keith brought some towels and checked that yes, her head was out, and there was no cord around her neck.  So with the next groan, out she came, after about 1 hour of labour!  Keith said it was a lot like playing twister, as I was on my hands and knees, in a tiny bathroom, with my backside facing the tiniest shower stall known to man, and he had to pass Leia back under me so that I could hold her while waiting for the placenta.  The cord was pretty short, so I just stayed put.  Mina and Abby came down to meet their new sister.  Mina decided to go right back to bed, and Abby hung out with us. Amazing that they slept right through everything!  After a few minutes, Noreen and Ava arrived, like angels in the night, and helped us to cut the cord and deliver the placenta.  Then they checked us over, cleaned everything up, filled out paperwork and gave me a stitch.  Ta Da!

So those are the specifics of what happened.  I am not gifted with words enough to describe how incredible Leia's birth is, not just for me, but for our whole family.  Keith, who caught his baby daughter, while staying very calm and together.  Myself, who gave birth, and all of the incredible feelings that brings.  Abby and Mina, who know that having a baby is normal, healthy and incredible.  Planning to and having her be born at home was the right decision for our family in so many ways.  At the beginning of my pregnancy, Noreen suggested that I pick some words to focus on throughout the pregnancy and birth.  My meditation words were; "trust"- so that I could trust my body, (not easy for me after being so sick and having surgery a month before getting pregnant), and my ability to give birth, and also in the knowledge and skills of my midwife and caregivers; "calm" - to remind myself to not panic, even though giving birth is very intense and can be difficult, everything was normal and not a reason feel any worry, panic or fear. I also wanted my family to feel calm.  My third word was "awesome" - not as in "cool", but a line from my favourite hymn says; "when I in awesome wonder..."  because to me birth is so incredible, it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around the miracle of it all.  It really is in awesome wonder that a baby is born. I wanted to remember that this is a gift and a privledge. And indeed it is.


Leia Mary Ann Nixon
August 13, 2012
12:01 AM
7 lbs 12 oz
20 inches long

Some Things We Have Learned This Week

• Camping at 8+ months pregnant is not a lot of fun, even if you are in a cabin. 
• Visiting with long lost sisters and their chillins all together makes it totally worth it!
• My mom is very awesome and I am so proud of her.  Actually, I have known that for a long time, but it bears noting here!
• My children can swallow half of  a piece of spaghetti, and then pull it back out.  Endless hours of amusement. gag. ( I thought girl children would be more demure, somehow.)
• It is possible that I may have been a bit obsessed with cloth diapers and finding great deals on them.  I may or may not have enough cotton to diaper triplets.  I have a plan though!  Once I figure out what works, I will sell the others on Kijiji to finance my next ridiculous obsession. Ideas anyone?
• Having a midwife is the bomb.  I knew this before too.  At my last group appointment (which I love because it is a bit like therapy) she made friendship bread for all of us and gave out "starter" bags to those who wanted them.  Tell me, does your OBGYN do that?  Probably not.  So in about 7 days, would you like some starter?  
• If anyone is planning a future pregnancy, and are one of those people for whom these things work out when you want them to, don't plan to have an August baby.  Pure torture I tell you.  In fact, just to be safe, don't have any sex at all during the month of November.  Even if you are on bed rest.  ha ha.
• Abby has learned how to sleep in.  Ah, the art of a lazy morning.  Today she came out of her room at the crack of 9!  Going back to school should be fun for her (I mean me)  in the morning.
• We are loving the summer programs at the library this year.  Free!  Air Conditioned!  Books!  Prizes!  Supervised activities for the kids so that I can read trashy magazines for an hour with my feet up!  pure bliss I tell you.  Even if I am the one who inevitabally ends up carting about 30 books back to the van.  Worth it. 
• My children have watched childbirth DVDs so they know what to expect.  I was expecting to have to answer more questions, but Mina was most impressed by the umbilical cord, and Abby laughed at the Dad's hairstyle.  It is so interesting to me how with kids, some things you think are going to be a big deal really are not.  I'm happy that this is going to be part of their growing up experience, and not a big taboo mystery.

Misc.

 First off, we are having a heat wave.  There are rolling blackouts in Alberta.  Being in my third trimester, and also being a person who hates the heat normally, I am not a happy camper.  I can't even begin to describe how awful/sticky/irritable/angry etc.  I am feeling right now.  So, if you encounter me, and I am really mean, please just walk away. Or give me a bag of frozen peas to wear on my head.

Also, a note to my body.  Really body?  Could you maybe re-use the old stretch marks from pregnancy #1 and #2 instead of creating new ones?  Would that be so hard?  And also, please please pretty please do not go into labour during our camping trip.  I am really worried about this.  That's all.

9 to 5

Here are my girls, Abby is 9!  Nine already!  And Mina is 5.  Such a clever title.  It's been a while since some of you saw these ladies, so I thought I'd post a snap.  We sure do make beautiful girls around here. 

Nesting, and some new Diarma's

 A few shots of Mina's recent games.  Above, we have the princesses, dancing together.  Sweet.

 Here, the horses are ried in the stable.

 And here is Ken, and his Barbies.  They are napping.  Ken is "cuddling" his friend.  They take turns.  I am not sure why the bride barbie is all alone and off to the side of the happy cuddling group.  ???

 Also, I have been "nesting".  I make this blanket. 

 ALso these wool soakers.  The top ones are from re-purposed sweaters, the others and knit. There are a few others too that I made.  Did you know you can use a wool soaker to go over cloth diapers instead of plastic pants?  Especially good at night, as they let air flow in. 

 I made a few "wet bags" out of PUL- for putting cloth diapers in when they are wet and you are out and about.

 Here are some wool "longies", also knit my yours truly!  And my shadow, which is rather large and hard to exclude from a frame. 

Keith has been nesting too.  Here is our new and much bigger hot water heater.  So that my birth tub can be filled easily with stramy hot water, if I want it.  He sure does love me.  I am a lucky Mama!

A Vegetarian is Born

At least temporarily..

A Dinner Conversation with Mina

Mina: Mom, is this beef from a cow?
Serinda: Yes it is.
M: Is it come out of a cow like milk?
S: No.
M: Is it from the inside of a cow?
S: Yes it is.
M: So, the cow is killed?
S: Yes,  sigh.  (chew chew chew)
M:  Mom, I don't want to eat this anymore.  I am sad. 

S: How about you eat your beans instead?
M: Okay.   sniff sniff.

Oh the harsh realities of life.  I remember Abby used to call all poultry birds at the petting zoo "Ham" and never had a problem eating them.  But Mina is very sensitive to the animals. 

Also, we sort of have a dog.  Our wonderful neighbour got a puppy at Christmas and happily "shares" him with us.  Gizmo comes to our back door to play with the girls, tries to follow us to the bus stop, and Leroy lets our girls take Gizmo for walks around the neighbourhood.  It is so great! Now the pressure is off, and as long as Leroy lives next door, we have our part time dog!  Awesome. 

A Love Letter to My Husband

Dear Keith,

One of my favourite things is when you are putting the girls to bed, and I am downstairs on the couch (usually watching some lame TV show, or occasionally being productive, folding laundry) and you are reading to them.  I can just hear your voices, but not enough to make out your words. That sound, of you reading and chatting with them before bed, is probably my most favourite sound in the world.  The low tones of your voice reading, and the little giggles and higher voices of the girls.  It is really beautiful.  Probably you think that I love watching TV so much that I don't want to do the bedtime thing, but really I just love to hear that sound.  (geez, these hormones are making me really sappy! 

Love, S

And, unrelated... Gestational update:  I am at the stage of pregnancy where shaving my legs has become an athletic event.  I had the best of intentions today, but just thinking about all the bending and reaching made my tired.  Thus, my legs are still unshaven.  Maybe I'll eat an energy bar today and then be able to do it later.  Maybe not. 

Dear Google,

You know when you have to type in the 2 words for security before psoting something?  Well, first, they are not even words.  Maybe in some strange language that is not mine.  Could you please give me English words?  And could you please use a better font?  Really!  I know my eyes are not 20/20, but come on, for the love of Pete!  It takes me 3 tries just to post a comment on my sista's blog!  It looks like those street signs that the rednecks have shot up with their long guns so you can't even see the speed limit anymore! It's no wonder I hardly ever post things.  Also, could you please find me someone who will buy my car for me, please pretty please?  That would be super helpful. 
Thank you.  

Also, a conversation with Mina, who is very interested in the birthing of this baby, and all things uterine and umbilical. 

Mina: Mom, can Anna please come to see the baby get born?
Serinda: No, it will be just family and Noreen (our fantastic Midwife).
M: But mom, she really wants to see it.
S: No, it will be private.  She can come the next day.
M: But really mom!
S:  I might be bare naked and she should not see me naked. 
M: Okay.  But can I tell her about it?
S: Sure!
M: Even the bare naked part?
S: Yes, you can tell her about the bare naked part. 


ha ha ha ha ha haha !

PD day

 I have surfed the internets this week, and been very annoyed that nothing is new, none of the blogs I stalk have anything new posted, there are no crafts I want to try, as I still have a pile of half finished stuff, and I have enough cloth diapers stashed now that I do not need to hunt down any more deals.  So I figured that I had better post something here, but could not think of anything to post other than my gripes and groans, mostly about gestating this baby...  And really, can't I think of anything else to write about besides that?  Well, sometimes not.  But today, was PD day.  There was no school for the girls, no work for me, so we decided to finally get their eyes checked.  (Yay, no glasses yet! Although I suspect that Abby is a bit disappointed.) Thing is, the eye Dr is in the mall.  The dreaded mall.  I hate malls.  They are loud and crowded and full of giddy teenagers showing their non-ballooning midriffs and old people who are walking slowly, in thier crosstrainers.  There is bad music.  There are so many smells wafting around it is like being assaulted.  (I have a hypersensitive smell thing....) The children want want want everything.  We need lunch, and everyone wants something different so I have to stand in 3 different line ups for 3 different varieties of gross.  After a very short time I get the "mall feeling" which is hard to describe, but it is probably like having a panic attack.   Anyway, Abby, on the other hand, has a totally different mall experience.  I credit this with having auntie NuNu live with us for the first couple of years of her life.  NuNu would give Abby a private fashion show every time she came home from the mall.  (Then she would try to hide her shopping bags so I would not notice them  in the recycle bin and tease her.  ha ha.)  Abby enters a mall, and she starts walking slower.  Her expression changes - like a kid who is entering Disneyland for the first time.  She looks at everything, is happy, wants to go into every store and try everything on.  Look at the map and plan her attack.  Even when Abby could just walk, we would go to the mall, and she would want to spend all of her time in the shoe and handbag department of the department store.  The girls both brought some saved up allowance money to spend.  Each of them choose something that really shows their personalities, I think. Mina choose a little Pet Shop toy.  Abby ended up with an off white linen scarf with black polkadots and a rose on one end.  She has spent the last 20 minutes at home practising different ways to tie it. 

So, that was our long day at the mall.  With 3 seperate trips to the bathrooms.  (only one of them was mine.) Oh, and just as an unrelated thing, Mina has the chin quiver that mom has!  It is so darn cute! 

To Neti or not to Neti

I have an awful sinus cold.  I have been sick for a mere 2 days and I feel so awful I can't stop complaining about it.  I can't take my usual cold and sinus miracle pill due to the gestating baby.  Therefore, I have been searching for internets answers, and all searches lead to the Neti Pot.  Which, if you have not looked at the youtube video yet, involves pouring saline water into one nostril and letting in drain out the other.  This idea kind of freaks me out a bit.  Will it even help me?  I'm not stuffed up, rather I am leaking from my nose and eyes continuously.  With a bad headache to boot.  It's not a sinus infection - I've had those before, this is "just" a cold.  There is no way I can go to work on Monday like this!  I'd have to stuff cotton rolls up my nostrils under my mask.  (Just for the record, I have NEVER done that!  But I know people who have.) And that is even grosser than pouring liquid onto my nasal cavities.  Have you tried it?  Did it work?  Did it make things worse? Is the internet crazy?  (it is, FYI.  One person suggested I "peroxide my ears". ???)

Also, as a side note, isn't is weird how all the baby develpment books compare the size of a fetus to various kinds of produce?  Anyone who has grown zucchini knows the wide range of what a "small zucchini" could be.  Couldn't they just uses inches instead? 

Our Squirmy Baby!

Here she is, baby girl Nixon #3.  I went to a private ultrasound clinic and it was fantastic!  They were so nice to me.  They gave me a fluffy spa bathrobe to keep warm, and had a flat screen in front of me so that I could watch the exam as they did it. I agreed to have a student do part of it which was nice because the experienced tech was there commenting and discussing what we were looking at while the student did it.  So here's a plug for them!  Canadian Diagnostic Centres is a great place for an ultrasound!  I went twice, as the baby was not in the right position for a few of the views they needed.  Each time the wait was minimal, a few minutes really.  They were kind and friendly, and were more than happy for Keith and the girls to come in after the exam.  The waiting room was not bursting at the seams with people and I loved that.  It was busy, but people were taken in right away. They know how to schedule appointments and stay on time. Very much appreciated. 

And, of course, everyone is telling me about how they know someone whose ultrasound said girl, but it was really a boy, so I should not loose hope.  For Goodness Sake!  Enough already!

PS I've never posted a video before, so I hope this worked.  

pregnancy weirdness #87

Today at church, Mina was sitting in (what remains of ) my lap, and eating raisins.  When I got home and changed out of my church clothes, a bunch of raisins fell out of my cleavage. 

And, just FYI, if another person tells my about how this one MUST be a boy, and maybe I'll finally get a boy, or some such comment, I am going to scream.  Boys are great and all, but we make awfully incredible girls here in the Nixon home!  My life is not going to be lesser if I fail to produce a boy. (Ultrasound is Wednesday! I'm very excited to find out the gender of this babe so that I can get sewing!) 

Also, if another person comments on "Wow, August, are you sure? You're so big already!"  Uh, yes I am sure.  So shut it, you rude stranger/friend/person. What's Your excuse for the extra poundage, huh?

Wisdom from Abby

On Friday, after a busy day, Abby said to me, "mom, I had a really good day today."  So I asked her what was so good about her day, expecting to hear something like how well her book report went, or the home reading prize she selected, or something fun that happened at recess.  You know, the usual expected school stuff.  Instead, she surprised me.  "I saw a Smart Car, a guy with a cool moustache, and a blue jay."  And I thought about that for the rest of the day, and the next day too.  Her response makes me really happy!  And it reminded me about simplicity, and beauty.  And how sometimes we "miss the forest for all the trees".  I know I do,  on a busy day.  It is so easy to forget all of the good and beautiful and simple things that make me happy.  I am going to remember smart cars, moustaches and blue jays. 

I am also going to clean out my car because the melty spring smell gags me and distracts me from beautiful things. I know there is a rotting piece of fruit in there, somewhere. Also, no one will buy the lovely little Toyota if it still has goldfish crushed into the carpet....  Reccomendations of mini vans anyone? Thanks.

A Funny Keith Story

A few weeks ago Keith told me this story.  For some reason, I could not stop laughing about it this morning!  Keith used to work for a guy who was a bit, flakey.  This guy went on mystic yoga retreats, only ate raw foods, and had crystals hanging in his window.  (Not that these things alone make someone flaky.  I'm just giving a little background here...)  So.  The plumbers would have staff meetings once in while, and the boss was really into "team building" and so on.  One time, he made all of the guys look eachother in the eyes for 60 seconds each.  So Keith had to sit there, looking deeply into the eyes of all his co-workers.  Including the guy who had only one eye, and the other was made of glass. They were supposed to be doing this so that they could see eachother as fellow human beings. 

I love my collection of funny stories about my loved ones.  My kids especially love hearing the ones about Gramma (specifically Windstorm, Hot Pepper and Butter Dish.)  Uncle Sean and his Flip Flops is also popular around here.   We should make a book... 

So there ya go.   Todays ha ha.  

Post Script

(SO much better than just PS, don't cha think?)


After going to bed last night, I thought I should have posted a picture of Keith's side of the counter around the fridge.  It contains: A coffee maker and a kettle, the sugar bowl and spoon.  And that is all.  If anything somehow lands on that side of the counter, a hair elastic, a book, a roll of tape, anything, it is promptly brought to MY side of the counter.  This is mirrored also in the state of our bed in the AM.  On my side, the blankets are all tangled up in knots, and on his side, you can barely tell that someone was even sleeping there.  I'm not sure what this means about Keith and I as people, or as a couple, or about our states of mind, but it sure is funny to me... ( there is a small chance that sometimes I put random objects on his side of the counter just to see what happens to them....) 

On another subject, being pregnant gives me weird, detailed dreams, that are really long and super crazy. And I always remember them.  Sometimes I look forward to going to sleep so I can find out what strange things await in my dreams... For example, last night, I had this very involved dream about a bizzare family holiday.  In part of this dream, Keith wanted to grow his hair long again, and was tired of waiting.  So, he got extentions.  

Dear Betina,

I hoped maybe that showing you my counter top of doom might make you feel better.  On it you can see the following:

• Knitting project.
• Abby's reading log, DNA folder and homework.
• Book about the politics of birth.  ( I know, I know...)
• Cheque book with no cheques left in it, reminding me to order more.
• Take out menu.  Because sometimes I resort to pizza just to get Mina to eat SOMETHING without telling me how disgusting it is.  
• Tax forms and what not that I still need to file.  Better yet, I need to just do the taxes for last year...
• Many sticky notes with lists of things I need to do/buy/plan/think about.
• Some other things that are under the pile that I forgot about.  

And  on the wall behind the phone is are "awards" that the girls made for me, for being a great mom. 

We all have a counter of doom.  Mine haunts me too.  But then I look up and see my trophy's and go back to building the lego towers because that is how I earned the awards. (And under the counter of doom is our "Drawer of Requirement."  If there is anything you need, it will be there.  Except the SSRI's of course.  Those are kept locked up.)

Does this count?

I think as far as mormon stuff goes, blogging on a Sunday is A-OK.  To me it is like journaling, which is heavily reccomended for a Sunday afternoon activity.  And shoveling the snow is A-OK too, as long as you make it a service to others and shovel both of your neighbours walks too. Which was nice to do today because my one neighbour has gotten to it first for the past few snowfalls, taking away my good deed intentions.  I think retired people must sit all day looking out of the window, just waiting for that last snow flake to fall so they can get out there with their fancy snow removal tools. 

So, my secret it all the way out.  I finally got the courage to tell work about the baby-to-be, and there is just no hiding it in Sunday clothes anymore.  Keith was laughing a bit about my attempts, ha ha, so I finally just gave in.  I got really fat right away this time, which my doctor said probably was because I had to stop 3 of my medications at once, and that apparantly is a recipe for getting fat.  Anyhow, I always like the first few months of pregnancy, having this little secret that only a few select people know about.  Watching other people try so hard to bite their tongues trying not to ask the seemingly obvious.  And the day you finally give in to the elastic waisted pants and feel soooo much better.  I also like the day or two when it is just me and only me who knows about it.  It is like this incredible sparkly present that you get to give to the one you love the most.  Even if it is an unexpected present. 

Kid update:

Mina cannot for the life of her say the word "envelope".  She says something like "antelope" instead.  Also, the other day we had a conversation about being old. 
Mina: Mom, are you old?
Me: I'm older than you.
Mina: But are you old?
Me: I'm old enough. 
Mina: Is Daddy old?
Me: He's old enough too.
Mina: (getting frusturated with me)  But is he old, like an old shoe?
ha ha ha. 

I took Abby to a Harry Potter day at the University science department.  They had all of these booths set up where you could do science experiments and check out "magical" things. They had the expected acid base things, and dry ice, but she also got to extract her own DNA from a saliva sample!  How cool is that?  I was so proud of her - she knew all of the answers to questions about obscure animals - like that a male platypus has a poisonous claw on his hind feet!  She was shown a skull and identified it as the skull of a Komodo Dragon. This girl is incredible!  (She also knew all of the answers to a Harry Potter quiz, but I expected that.) 

Thats all for now folks.  Oh, and I joined facebook.  (I was planning to never ever do so, but that is where my midwife updated her clients if she has to rebook an appointment. )

Musings... A bullet List

• I was going to blog about how much I hate the bleeping cold.  But, it has warmed to only -24 degrees, so I feel much better about it.  I was not enjoying the -44 of yesterday.  
• I keep telling myself that it is cheaper and more practical to by new car seats and booster seats than it is to buy a new car.  But the Mazda 5 is calling me!  Alas, a couple of Britax Marathon's should do the trick.  Or  perhaps the Radian 65's which are also narrow.  
• I made the most delicious lasagne over the weekend.  It was golden and bubbly and perfect.  I even took a picture of it for my archive of fantastic food that I have made.  I also have many pictures of various yorkshire puddings and apple pies. 
• The museum is having a Chair exhibit and I am unreasonably excited.  People thing I am a bit strange, but I can't wait!    

I should really not have started this list now, because I have to go get Abby.  More later!  TTFN!!

Mommy Confession # 73

Sometimes, when she is asleep, I sneak into Mina's room and put chapstick on her.  I just cannot abide those little chapped dry hurting lips, that keep getting licked in the cold, and never get chapstick-ed because she hates it. Sometimes, I even use vaseline.