Coddled

I don't blog anymore. For a lot of reasons. But. Last week, this little boy came to my office and broke my heart. And I wanted to tell his story to the internet because it makes me so sad. And it is important. So, coddled. 

Coddled is at one side of the spectrum of how parents can treat their kids. The coddled kids come in for dental work, and the parents are right in there, holding hands, wiping the brows, making all sorts of promises and bribing the kid to behave, etc. while the child is whining, crying, refusing and basically being a little turd... 

The more common part of this spectrum is the parent coming in with the child, holding hands during the freezing, then heading out to the waiting room while the kid gets his fillings, and giving him a high 5 when he's all done. 

And then there is the opposite of coddled. There is Jamie*.  Jamie is 6 and he lives with his elderly grandma right now. His mom pops into his life now and then. He is not coddled. Jamie needs a lot of work done. We give him his freezing, and it hurts him. Jamie cries out, briefly. Then he settles down and let's us get to work. But the drilling is hurting him, and he raises his hand to tell us to stop. (That's our pre arranged stop signal). So we stop, and tell Jamie that he needs more freezing, because his cavity is very deep. "No more freezing. Just keep going, it's fine!" We were able to convince him to have more freezing, and he did great, and we got the fillings done. But the heart break is that Jamie was ready to sit through 90 minutes of pain and just deal with it, because he was so afraid of getting more freezing. And he knew that no one was going to come and save him from it. Or hold his hand and reassure him. And it broke my heart that he had to be so brave for himself. Because he didn't have anyone on his team cheering for him, telling him he will be alright and giving him a high 5 when he was done. 

So, if you have a kid, go ahead and coddle them. Love them and help them and reassure them all the time. Make sure they know that you are there cheering them on. 

Crohnie Update

Did you know, that this summer I started taking drugs? Injecting myself with drugs in fact. This drug is a Crohns drug, and is supposed to help decrease inflammation and make me feel better. I waitied a long time to take this drug. It has many very serious side effects, which scare the bejebers out of me. And for many people, it does not work at all. But this year, I got really sick again, and decided that I was out of options, and had to give it a try. It was scarry, and a huge process of red tape to get insurance to cover it. This is an ongoing process actually, I am still not covered. But the drug company has a compassionate care program that gives me the drug for free until I can get coverage. Which is awesome because it costs about $1800 a month.

Anyway, it is helping. I have gained weight and am not longer 89 pounds soaking wet. I can no longer see my skeleton through my skin. I have boobs again. I am able to eat fresh fruit and vegetables. Summer has never tasted so good. I have to replace my veggie scrubbing brush for the first time in years, because I have actually been using it this summer! I enjoy kale. I eat it in salads, stir fry, soup, tacos, on pizza. I ate a ceasar salad and did not have to lay moaning in bed for 2 days over it. I actually have to pay attention to how much junk I eat, because I think I gain weight like a normal person now!

It's not all sunshine and rainbows though. I was also taking a "booster" drug to help the main drug be more effective, but my liver does not agree with it, so I had to stop taking that one. I am hoping my liver will recover. It's a wait and see thing. And hoping also that the main drug will still work without its booster. And I still have Crohnie issues, mostly bathroom related that are too gross to discuss in polite company. But it is slowly improving, and I hope will resolve so that I can avoid another major surgery, which is where I was headed.

So that is my Crohnie update. I am a much nicer person, less irratable, nicer to my kids and able to do more fun things when I am not in pain all of the time. I missed me. It is so much easier to be excited about life when I am not hurting.

(I just realized when searching for a picture of myself, that I dont really have any!  It seems I am always the one holding the camera. And I am not really a "selfie" person. This pic is random, from our trip to Camrose. I have no idea who the old lady is.)

Two Two

It is a couple of weeks late, but I have a TWO year old to announce! 


I LOVE two years old. I think it is my very favourite age. And lucky for me, I get to experience it all over again. Learning to speak and communicate is so much fun! Being able to climb the playground equipment and go down slides, running down the sidewalk, helping with cooking and housework, making little jokes, running up to the window to watch the garbage truck go by, crying because the birds fly away, refusing to ever were shoes, getting soaking wet every chance she gets, I just love it all.

(I am not quite sure why Mina was wearing goggles. It is just how she parties, I guess.)

This little Two Two of ours is a sweet, happy, silly and strong willed girl. She has a lot to say. She speaks like a little southern belle, saying "ma" instead of  "my", and it makes me smile every time. She also adds "-ie" behind many of her words. She might say "holdie ma handie" if she wants me to hold her hand. Sometimes she speaks each syllable as if it were its own sentence. I really must make a recording of it, because it just melts me. She adores her big sisters and wants to have and do everything that they do, which is as it should be. She calls a knife a "cut" and a fork a "poke".  She takes her new baby doll everywhere she goes these days, and loves her blankies. (I made her 2 in case one got lost. But she knows there are two of them, and always wants them both.)I love seeing her right after she wakes up, trying to hold every single stuffie and blanket she owns, walking around the house with an armful of soft cozy things she loves to hug. She will make a bee line to any puppy she sees or hears so that she can love and adore it. She is afraid of the vaccuum, and terrified/fascinated about the blowdrier, which she likes to visit in the bathroom to make sure it is still there, and turned off, quiet and coldie.  Sometimes she requests it to be on the dinner table, and side eyes it suspiciously while we eat. I think it is a case of keeping her friends close, and enemies closer.

Leia, we love you and are so happy you jumped into our family!

Simple.

Our family just got home after a fun filled, while still relaxing holiday. We spent 2 days in Calgary, and got to visit 2 so-close-but-so-far-away sisters, and my dad. We had a fun time visiting and seeing the sights. We stayed in a hotel, which is always the highlight of any trip for my girls. The luggage carts, the lobby, the mini fridge, the ice machine down the hall. The pool, and of course, the elevator. Watching a great lightening storm from high up out of our window was pretty cool.we probably could have just stayed in the hotel the whole time, and the kids still would have had a blast. 

Then, we went to a little mountain town called Canmore. You know you are having a good time when you spend your down time on MLS looking at local housing availability! We stayed in a 2 bedroom condo. And I must say, having the amenities of home when you are on vacation is such a welcome luxury. We had a full kitchen and in suite laundry, also a pool. This was great.

Anyway. The point of this post is that we lived simply. We had a small apartment, one suitcase each with clothes and toiletries, and one backpack of entertainment. Plus pool noodles. Of course. And I was so happy. It was so inspiring to know that I can live, very happily, with much, much less. Less clothes, less food, less yard, less dishes, less toys, less house, less STUFF. 

I have also been inspired by our CSA weekly veggie baskets, and Keith's newfound desire to have a garden. We can grow our own food and buy less stuff! 

I want to have less. I'm not sure how to do this, but I am going to start buy not buying stuff. I think next will be to get rid of stuff. Here is a look at the random stuff that surrounds and suffocates me. 

This is just one room full of random stuff that takes my time and attention. There are many more just like it. 

So there you have it. Less stuff. That's what I'm going for. If I tell you I am headed to walmart, please stop me. 

Weekly Round up

It has been a good first week of summer vacation here at the Nixons place. 

We have discovered 3 new parks, all without sand, (these are the only kind of parks to go to, in my opinion). Our 2 favourites are Borden Park, and Britnell park. We still have a few on our list to check out, like the Castledowns and Jackie Parker park. 

We went to Camrose for Canada Day, and spent some time with Grandma. She gave Leia a new ball, and since then, Leia has been falling asleep clutching her "Gramma ball". Toddlers are so cute. Camrose was fun, but I think next year we will try out our own city's Canada day. 

And, this has been happening. The most successful potty location seems to be right by her bookshelf. Otherwise, she gets up too quickly and nothing happens. But give this girl a book to read, and she will sit still long enough to pee. I have shifted my obsession for cloth diapers to fabric shopping and sewing.

Mina has learned a new skill! And, she stops every 3 minutes while in Walmart to adjust her shoelaces. Sigh. I am very proud of this girl. I think she is even mustering the courage to attempt her two wheeler. Hopefully I can post about that next week. 

Home made play dough! And I just  added boiling water to the mix, and kneaded it instead of doing it over the stove and making a mess in my pot. It is so much nicer that the store bought kind. 

And you may notice that Abby is missing from this post. She is really growing up! Sometimes she feels too old to come to the park and play with play dough. But, when she does, I know she still likes it. Even if she won't admit to it. 

So there you have it, this has been our week. Keith is on call, so it seems like the week will never end. You can bet that I will be dashing out of the house at some point tonight to escape and find some sanity. 

It's a Birthday Post!!

Somehow, I blinked. And this sweet, curious, bundle of joy became 11 years old. The years truly are short. And as each one passes by I am so proud, happy and excited for this girl as she grows into herself. And so surprised that this much time has passed, how can that be? Now I have this beautiful 11 year old daughter.

                                                 This girl is all kinds of AWESOME. 
Happy Birthday Abby! And thank you for making me a mother. And for teaching me how to be yours.

Jenny!

Today I ran into one of my favourite high school teachers. Mr. Mosher  taught me English. Seeing him this morning really made my day. I was thinking about all of my Slave Lake memories that are good, you know, Rex theatre, the beach, the sky, high school shenanigans, driving in cars with boys, jumping into the river before math class, acing my English departmental exam, graduating a semester early, before anyone else in my class, the poplars and the sound they make before it rains. I was getting so excited to maybe bring my girls there this summer and show them. 

And then I remembered the day that my home town burned down. And my parents broken marriage finally shattering into a million pieces. And I thought, I would have to show my girls the house. And when I see it, I will probably turn into Jenny, from Forrest Gump, and throw rocks at it, and fall down sobbing in the dirt. And I don't know what to do with this. 

I am still gad I saw you, Mr. Mosher. You are a fantastic teacher. I might bring the girls up this summer. I really do love the sound of the poplars before the rain, and I want my girls to hear it. 

A Fresh Start!

Well, I'm obviously not a very good blogger. It all started when I got an I Pad. I couldn't figure out how to use it to blog, and when I finally got the blogging app for it, I found it difficult to use. So I did not do it. And coming all the way downstairs and sitting in front of the computer just seemed so archaic and cumbersome....  And then my Crohns started kicking my butt and all of the extra things in life, like blogging, among other things, were crossed off of my to do list. When the Chronies come knocking, I go into surrvival mode, and just do the necessities. and not even that, sometimes. But, I am working on getting back into life, and trying to start doing the things I like to do again, even though the Chronies are still finding new and creative ways to attack me. I am going to try and get my life back. So there, Chrones. We are having an awful tug of war it seems.

Anyway. I think in order to successfully blog, I need to approach things differently. I need to be myself, and not compare my blog to others, and feel less than, less creative, less funny, less beautiful photographs and so on. I think I am going to try to do weekly posts, which will probably involve a lot of bullet lists about random things. There may be some pretty pictures, there may be some witty humour, and there may also be some swearing. Because sometimes I do that. Lets see if I can keep it up.

So here is little insight into how this week has been.

• Work has been really busy. But I am really good at my job, even though I am a little bored by it. Sometimes I wish I could switch careers but not have to start at the bottom of the payscale. 
• Summer holidays have been booked!  We are visiting Calgary for a couple of days to spend time with family and then on to Canmore to explore the mountains. I am getting very excited for this! 
• Leia has discovered Cabbage Patch dolls.Well, one in particular. Her name is Dolly, and Leia looooves her. She dresses, diapers, nurses and takes Dolly for walks. It is really very cute. I remember getting one for Christmas in the 1980's. She came with a horrible name, so I changed it to Karen Lucy, the most beautiful name I could think of. I was also very jelous that Betinas doll had a better hairstyle than mine did. 
• I had a run in with a stranger at VV today. I was looking around at the kids clothes, and this toddler was there, taking Dolly away from Leia, and being a baby bully. Mom was nowhere to be seen. After 3 or 4 times of me giving Leia back her Dolly, the boy starts shrieking. Mom comes out of the changing rooms, finds us and gave ME heck for making her kid cry!!!!  Really??? Supervise your kid lady. Don't abandom him in this store while you are trying on clothes and then give ME heck because he is a little shit and taking my kids toy away over and over. geez.  
• I know I said I was not going to plant anything in the garden, but I did afterall. I planted some tomatos and peppers, in hopes of using them for my salsa this fall. But the leaves on the pepper plants are turning kind of yellow. Why??? Any insight? Maybe the soil is too wet or too dry or not draining properly? Too much sun? Not enough? This is why I wasn't going to plant anything. It always goes wrong on me. We will see with the tomatoes though. The last time I planted them, I got pounds and pounds of tomatoes, with rotten black bottoms. What a waste. I will try to hope for the best. 
• My CSA baskets start this weekend! I am so excited to pick it up! Maybe I will ask the farmer what to do about my pepper plants. 
• Keith is taking Abby out back woods camping/hiking this weekend. They have spent all week packing and re packing their back packs and sampling dehydrated meals. His mom, bless her heart, is concerned about bears, and "crazy people on quads". I am more worried about mosquitos, sunburn, and Abby's seasonal allergies. Note to self: pick up some Claritin for her. 

And there you have it. Happy Friday! 

Finally

Abby keeps on telling me that I have to blog things. And she is right. I have not really done any since being back at work. Blogging is one of the many things that have fallen by the wayside. There are not enough hours in the day, or days in the week, anymore. While I tend to tooth aches, fillings, and crowns, things are being left undone. Like washing the floor. Bringing the cans and milk jugs in for recycling. Visits with friends. Blogging.  I just had to stop doing things.

So, here is the update. We are all good here. Abby is becoming a very accomplished piano player. She is so happy that the new season of Dr. Who has started. We really enjoy watching this together as a family. Mina has a wonderful teacher, who has captured her imagination with something OTHER THAN My Little Pony. It takes an amazing teacher to do this, the pull of the Pony is very strong. But now, Mina is also creating stories, art and pictures about bats. Thank you Mrs. Fotty. We finally took a family picture that I like!  We had many failed attempts over tha past 18 months, which was causing me great distress. Hopefully I will be on the ball enough to get some into the mail with Christmas cards. Leia is doing well too. She is busy busy and on the go all of the time. She loves Christmas lights! So much fun to drive with her squealing from her carseat each time we pass a house with Christmas lights on.

I know this is rather a lame post. But I have no fun pictures accessible right now, I will try to add some soon. Also, I am really missing my sisters, and am rather sad for this. Thinking about them being so far away makes me resent their American husbands, and I know that this is irrational and wrong.  I need to stop feeling this way and assigning blame.  (I know that you all have very loving and wonderful husbands, please don't think otherwise. I just miss you all.)  So it's hard to be up beat and chatty and bloggie. Boo hoo, pity party for me. Are we going to do a sister trip this year? We should. I have airmiles!

Oh for goodness sake. Leia just unzipped the bean bag chair.

Pink Fluffy Unicorns...

There is, once in a while, a meal that I cook, which my whole entire family will eat, and proclaim delicious. This is a very very rare occurrence. It is like spotting a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow. Here is one such unicorn meal.

Ricotta Stuffed Manicotti

Cook manicotti shells. Drain and cool.

In a bowl, mix together a big tub of ricotta, 1cup grated mozzarella, 1/2 cup Parmesan, tsp of Italian seasoning, and a beaten egg.  If you have a family that prefers more adventure, you can add sautéed veggies, like onion, peppers and spinach. I might do that to half of the mix next time.

Spread some tomato sauce on the bottom of a baking dish.

Load this into a zip lock bag, cut off a corner of it, and squeeze the filling into the manicotti shells. Put these on top of the tomato sauce, pour more sauce over top. Cover with foil.

Bake for 45 minutes at 350.

Everyone including Leia, loves this. This is immensely satisfying for me. So often I plan and make dinner, and the kids hate it, and I end up feeling so useless and like I am never cooking dinner again. But not tonight!

I'm new at doing this from my I pad, hopefully I will be able to figure out adding a picture to this post soon.

Summertime Photo Bomb!

 Cousin time, in the Badlands.  Probably the best thing ever.

 Birthday time!  Is there anything cuter than a toddler with her birthday balloon? She has been walking around, eating, and playing with this balloon all week. She looks for it first thing when she wakes up. Happy first birthday Leia!

 First camping trip. Went much better than I expected.

 More cousins, looking for fossils.

We have been having a fun fun summer!  I dont really have much to say today, but wanted to share some of our pictures with my far aways.

Does Anyone Even Read Blogs Anymore?

I do. I have not twittered or instagrammed. I just blog. And Facebook. Anyhoo, a lot has happened in a month, and everything really deserves its own post, but, time is short. It will have to be one post for everything. So, most important of all, drumroll here,

I have a 10 year old!  She is a beautiful, talented, smart, funny, kind and all around wonderful girl. She surprises and impresses me every day.  I am so proud of her, and I love her very much. I have been a mother for 10 years. You would think I knew what I was doing by now. Happy Brithday Abigael.

 We have been having a lot of summer fun, starting with the day Keith brought home a hammock. We have also done some science experiments, which ended with Mina spending the afternoon on the hammock drinking about 1 litre of minty diet coke.... eww.  

And, we just came home from a fantastic family hoilday in Jasper!  We had so much fun!  Highlights include: staying in a really nice cabin right by the river, horse back riding, rafting, and learning that I am afraid of heights.  Didn't see that one coming! 

So. I hope you still read blogs. Maybe if bloggers (I) posted more often, people wouldn't get tired of the blogosphere and resort to instagramming and so on. There is more summer fun to come, and we are going to make the most of it.

Childproofing!

 BEFORE: A very hard and unforgiving hearth.

AFTER:  A soft and cushy place to play!  Keith and I made this removeable, padded bench. We can easily take it off for when we have a fire going. I like how it looks too!  Usually childproofing measures look so ugly and plasticy. But I think this one is a keeper, even after Leia is bigger. One less hazard to deal with. I still need to find some plexiglass to block off the fireplace window.

May Musings

Abby has reminded me that it has been FOREVER since I added anything to this blog of mine.  I reminded her that this is called "Meagre" offerings, not "A Novel Every Day" offerings.  But she is right!  I have had so many blog ideas, and not made the time to turn them into actual posts.


Idea #1
School Dance
The girls attended a school dance, and the theme was "Hats!"  I'm not sure if they had to be crazy or silly, or just wear a hat. Mina added a cape to her ensemble, as it went so well with her beret. So they went to the dance, escorted by Daddy.  There was popcorn and glowsticks, the Chicken Dance and YMCA. Michael Jackson and Lady GaGa, much to Mina's delight. They danced with eachother, with daddy, and with their friends. They were home by 8:00, tired and happy. Sigh. I could not help but wonder with a school dance picture will look like 7 years from now.  What will they be wearing and who will be bringing them to the dance? I started thinking these thoughts and had to stop myself. Enjoy the present. Don't rush them into growing up. Don't worry about high school dances, boy crushes, slow dancing and tender broken hearts.   It is not the season for that!  (Besides, they dont have boys in a convent! ha ha)

Idea #2
Mothers Day
Mothers day.  I tried to blog about this from my IPad, but could not get it to publish. It was a whole long drawn out list of pros and cons about having another baby.  I am kind of glad it did not publish though, because is was just a bunch of drivel about how I can't make up my mind.  When I re read it, I decided I do not have to make up my mind.  I am very happy with my family as it is, and what will be will be. I don't need to worry myself about these things, especially because I have this lovely fat baby in my arms, who gives enthusiastic, wet, open mouthed kisses, and fits just right in the kitchen sink for her bath.

Idea #3
My girls, sharing their special talents with the Leia. Abby loves to play the piano, and every time she does, Leia crawls right up to the bench, and "sings". It is incredibly sweet. Mina, aside from being very flexible, also loves to play computer games.  Not so much a talent, as a past time, I think. Well Leia is all over that too, and Mina is very patient and cute teaching her how to play. Leia wants to play with the big girls all the time and it makes me so happy!  So much sister love. 

So there you have it. Noe one, but THREE blog posts!

good Mom, Bad Mom, random complaints and observations

Yesterday, I spent 2 hours, yes, 2 hours - the entire amount of precious baby-is-miraculously-napping time avaliable to me that day, cleaning the playroom. After several requests for the kids to do it had failed, I took matters into my own hands. It was beautiful when I was done. You could see the carpet. I dusted. The playhouse looked like real toys actually lived there, and not like a trailer park after a tornado. Good Mom!

Then my girls came home. And, it turns out I accidentally garbaged a special item. Bad Mom! I thought is was broken, so I tossed it. But, alas, it was not broken. Many tears were shed.
Mom brings in the trash, and goes through the stinky garbage bag, searching among the combined kitchen/toy room garbage for said item. Gets covered in garbage water. Good Mom!

While searching, children see other broken and mismatched items that they simply cannot live without. Mom says no. Biggest girl fight ever ensues. Husband comes home at the height of biggest girl fight ever.  Not a proud moment. Bad Mom.

So exhausting...  also, Today Leia was having a very hard won nap. I decided to tape a "baby is sleeping" sign over the door bell. Good Mom! I needed to make sure the tape stuck to the frozen doorframe. So I pushed really hard, and the doorbell rings continuously, waking up said sleeping baby. Bad Mom...

Sometimes it is hard to win.

Complaint/Observation:
When searchng the internets for girls dress tutorials and patterns, why is it so darn hard to find one with sleeves? I don't live in a warm place! My kids hate to have to wear T shirts under dresses, or sweaters over.  Sleeves are attractive!   They are not had to sew!  Come on blog world!!

Half of a Year!

one month, still dazed and confused

two months, a little grin...

Three months, smiles! Bubbles of drool!

four months, why is this yellow??

Five months, super fat!

Six months!  Red teething cheeks! Would have much more visual impact if I could figure out how to turn it. geez.

  

Happy half birthday baby girl!  It is true, I have become one of those moms who blogs only about her baby, and nothing else. I used to get so irritated by that!  Because have they forgotten who they are? Have all of thing things that used to interest them disappeared? What's up with those single minded people? Don't they read books anymore?  

Well, now I get it. This baby is what I do, all day, every day. I pour my heart and soul into her. She is my masterpeice.

(So are my big girls, but they have abandon me for the pursuit of higher education, so far less photo ops and bolg opportunities, it seems.)

But here are a couple. And yes, the icing turned gray. Not very Valentiney, I know. But Trending, perhaps?

Not much to say...

...But thought a couple of pictures might be nice. Sometimes it looks like Leia has a mohawk! so cute. And her big sisters are beauty queens.  I am blessed.

Holly Jolly

There were a lot of things I did not do this Chistmas.  They included, but were not limited to:

• send out a christmas card with family picture.  
• large amounts of baking.  There were no nanaimo bars this year, and I think we all missed them.
• thoughtful homemade gifts for my nearest (who are actually quite far) and dearest.  They are still on my sewing table.  I suppose I have a head start for next Christmas.
• take any Christmas day pictures.  Any at all.  
• Secret Santa-ed someone.  I am sad that we missed this one.  

But, there are some things I did do.

• Made gingerbread houses with the girls and some friends.
• Turkey dinner with my brother.  Note to self: invite more people for dinner next year!  Also, less sidedishes, more cheese tray!
• Played all day with my family.  
• Snuggled this fat fat baby.
• Talked to most of my family.  Sadly, not in person.  

So, it was a good Christmas.  Albeit with a few small coulda shoulda's.

Merry Christmas all!

Remembering Fisch

Fisch, you were a good cat.  When you were young you would play fetch, just like a dog.  You were the neighbourhood bully.  You were a very good mouser, and loved to play with grasshoppers.  You would chase the reflections of headlights on the wall.  You would ambush the mailman, and chase your tail. Once you dissappeared for 2 days and came home smelling like rancid butter.  You carried your kittens around upside down. You liked to listen to U2. You liked best of all to sleep with the girls, on their pillows.  You would play with my knitting needles, and sit on the fabric I was trying to cut out.  You would curl up on my pregnant belly, and jump when the baby kicked you.  You loved to cuddle up with the kids for bedtime stories. You loved KD as much as Mina does. We miss you Fisch. 

Fisch Nixon  1996 - 2012

There is Beauty All Around

Sometimes, I get really sad that I live in a big stinky ugly city.  I do not miss "small town" living, but I do miss living in the beautiful nature of Northern Alberta.  I also miss the beauty of living in a city with the Rocky Mountains close by.   So, I am trying to find beauty around me to make me feel better.  Well, today it was easy. I needed to remember to look up.   As I took this picture, the sun was starting to melt the hoar frost, and it was falling around me.  Just like that scene at the end of Edward Scissorhands.  And I could breathe.